This past weekend was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. I anticipated long nights and lots of social anxiety but it proved to be better. Friday night we saw Hope Con and Converge at Subterranean in Wicker Park. Without a doubt, seeing Converge in a small venue like that was one of the best shows I had been to in a long time. I was pretty much speechless.

Saturday and Sunday started around 1pm, lasting until around 9pm. Jim and Caitlin really did an awesome job and I know they worked really hard to get it done. I missed a couple of bands when I started getting hungry/tired. I actually had never even heard 108 but I was really into them, especially Vic DiCara in his short shorts and smooth legs. I found it to be very androgynous which always wins my heart over! Converge left me speechless again. The guitar player is probably one of the absolute best guitarists I had ever seen live and Tim told me something to the effect of him having a column in a guitar magazine. It all makes sense.

Bannon is kind of everyone's idol and it makes sense why we all have crushes on him. What I find even more remarkable is that he makes creativity seem so natural and like it's organically possible. Sometimes other artists make you want to just give up on anything you try but what he does makes it not as standoffish. I liked how he was the only person in the whole show to stay after his set and talk to people who obviously wanted to talk to him...



Trial had an insane reaction and seeing Bane for the first time didn't change how I feel (not into them) but it was really amazing to see so many people react. Tim and I pretty much took a post on the balcony, almost dead center. It was without a doubt the best view in the whole place. I stood right in front of the pa during the Killer which was an awful mistake because my eardrums felt like they were disintegrating...poor little guys.

Though there was a lot of "preaching" I have to say that some stuff really stood out to me. Mainly, it really made me happy that someone, don't remember who because my memory sucks, said what I always think about when I really stop to think about the people that go to shows. We are all brought together by some sort of pain. We all have things in our lives that draw us together because of our frustration and disillusionment and hurt. It was good to hear that put so simply because I hate it when people act like their struggle is so unique and special that they are the exception. We all suffer from our own burdens, whether we make it more obvious than others, we all carry our own pain. I wish people remembered that sometimes...

Anyway, I know my buddy Chris Zibutis took pictures the whole time so I'd keep an eye out on his Flickr for more of those. Chris and his wife Monica are pretty legit and damn good at what they do, I get so excited when I learn about what they're up to.

So yeah, overall it was a really good weekend for me even though some others were bitter and jaded. Unavoidable with where they've been and for how long. I wore my Dave shirt on Sunday because I just couldn't stop thinking about him. I think he would have agreed with me that no matter what, Wrigleyville is still one of the worst places in Chicago ever...

Sundays ago, I sang along to this song while my dad drove us home. He looked at me in a certain way. "This song means a lot to you, doesn't it?" without saying a word. No one makes songs like this anymore. Especially female artists. Songs used to be so simple and sincere. All at a time that as never mine...

Friday- Dinner at Ethiopian Diamond, or "Ethiopia." Flew a kite at the beach afterwards in pitch black darkness. Kite dove three times, and at my hand, resurrected broken. I owe Tye a kite.

Saturday- Bought "Big Red" who isn't very big at all but will suit my needs. Doesn't make me feel like if I fall I will hurt my crotch like I did when I was 11 on a bike that was too big for me. Grilled at Jay's with Blum and Tye. Talked about stuff we're aware of and purposely try to ignore for the possibility of going insane. I'm secretly panicked and already insane. Played with python; he seemed happy but he tried to get in my shirt. The recliner was difficult to handle.

Sunday- Making trips alone, headache man. I beat the rain and a good mother and woman made lasagna and showed me her printing press. I hate lasagna, but she made a killer dish that might change my ways. Tailored a couple of dresses. Maybe this summer I'll show my legs more, maybe my knees. Or maybe I won't.

Monday- I finished the CP books. My stomach hurts and so does my head as usual. Get me away from here I'm dying....

Often times I find myself wondering if I was born at the wrong time. Perhaps I'm just totally oblivious to all the great stuff happening now, or how historic it is, but I'm in love with the past. I'm in love with old music and even in the present, I hear it creeping in the notes. Sometimes it is more blatant. If I could choose, I would have loved to been around from 1963 to 1973. So much good stuff. Lots of great stuff before and after but those ten years, I wish I was around...

I've been feeling strange lately. Today, this made me feel better.



Elliott Smith- From A Basement On A Hill








Pavement- Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain









Nick Drake- Pink Moon










Jefferson Airplane- Surrealistic Pillow





Cat Power- What Would the Community Think?

Reading A Good Woman. The writing style is a little amateurish and way too Rolling Stone at times, but overall, I like it. Thank you for the gift.


Aside from that, I want you (everyone) to forget what I look like and who I am.

I got accepted into library school. I'm excited to be so nerdy.

This past weekend was very good. Slept in a Frank Lloyd Wright house, pretended it was mine. It was perfection to wake up and only see trees and sky. I never wanted to leave. I don't want to live around people and I just want to be away. One day I will make the plans for my own house and buy a piece of land by trees, by water, far from people. I'm going to make disappearing come true. Someday...

Here's a little something good for you, good for me.